You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize