i jhust puked up my retainher.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I look excited, but its just a facade.
how does that bad decision feel?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
