would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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