i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
