OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
