I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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