I can't breathe out the right side of my face
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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