the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
