The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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