you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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