I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
is it fun? or sober?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
