Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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