you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
