Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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