is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
