so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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