I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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