Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Fuck appropriateness.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
