i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
