cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
