Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
