im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I puked a lego.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
