if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize