So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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