Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
