Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
