I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
