I think i peed on brittanys purse
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
