wat bout pragnant strippers??
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
