Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
