Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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