I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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