We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
