I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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