I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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