i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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