You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
