Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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