Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
