Banned from zoo.
Again?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
