Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
