awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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