my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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