he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm too high and old for this...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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