Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
