Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
