god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
