so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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