it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
