It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
