For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
